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June 2005 - The Mom & Caregiver Reasonably
Sane Through the workshops I’ve been running for mom groups, I have discovered that certain issues ring true for all; first, getting our kids to listen to us is as old as cave man drawings. It might be “Get your shoes on,” or “Dinner!” or “It’s time to go home.” That power struggle brings us close to the line of that mother we saw (before we had kids) losing it in the supermarket. We chose anger because we don’t know what else to do to get the results we want. Anger often manipulates others into doing what we want. Anger is always a choice one makes. At the time of anger we feel out of control. (Deep breathing in my bathroom is one of my favourites). Remember the look your mom would give you (“The mom look”) as soon as you saw that you knew she was a moment away from losing it. Then one day you find yourself doing the look and you can’t believe it worked. Instead of anger or intimidation - we can choose fun. During one of my workshops I ask two moms to get up. One was to pretend to be the child, the other the parent. I said, “Ok, try to get your kid to leave.” It started of nice… then the screaming. There are choices to be made at this point, why not have a little fun. Why don’t you become:
I promise you it works and there is no anger, just fun. It might be a little different when they’re 15… but they still might get a laugh out of it. Fun cancels stress out and brings everyone into the moment. Kate Davis is a clever and candid comedienne and mother of three. From that she has developed her popular workshops “Parenting With Humour” where she helps moms to find funny alternatives in communicating with their kids. download "The Mom & Caregiver" Magazine click here, Kate's articles appears on page 16
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Reasonably
Sane When I first found out I would be writing this column, what came to my mind immediately was Carrie Bradshaw from “Sex In The City” and that I would have to buy some new shoes. I should start by introducing myself. I’m a mother of three; I have a 12, 11 and 6 year old and I am a stand-up comic. My first 2 kids are only 15 months apart and the third came 5 years later, I didn’t wait 5 years on purpose I was just too tired to have sex. After becoming a mom I felt like I had to get to know myself again. As women we go through a lot, our bodies, our psyche and our image of ourselves. I gained 80lbs with each of my pregnancies, yep, I weighed over 200lbs! By all standards I should have given birth to an eight year old. When my milk came in, I couldn’t believe how gigantic they became over night (my husband was pleased but he didn’t have to carry them around). I began to have fun with them though, I discovered I had a good 8 foot firing range, I had my own built in milk gun so to speak, my husband would bug me and I’d shoot my breast milk at him. Did you ever find yourself doing this? When your baby first starts eating rice pabulum and you’re so exhausted you just lean over the counter and squirt in your milk, (that image wasn’t in any of the books I read) it’s very sexy. Making love after you have a baby is interesting, with the lights off of coarse. There is nothing like being on all fours and the shock of feeling your stomach hit the bed. All I am thinking is “suck it in, it won’t suck in!” Enjoy your big leaky breasts and your voluptuous body. Have fun going shopping and not having a clue what size you are, It took you 9 months to put on the weight give yourself nine months to take it off. And most importantly accept where you are; don’t feel guilty about where you’re not. Kate Davis is a clever and candid comedienne and mother of three. From that she has developed her popular workshops “Parenting With Humour” where she helps moms to find funny alternatives in communicating with their kids. download "The Mom & Caregiver" Magazine click here, Kate's articles appears on page 16
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